Clay Butler
Clay Butler
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Living With Incurable Cancer - Terminal Illness With an Ambiguous End Date - Dealing with Mortality
Incurable but treatable. How I deal with my diagnosis of metastatic uveal melanoma and thoughts about knowing your life will end too soon, but you don't know how soon. Why meditating on your death, or coming to terms with your mortality, is key to living your best life possible in the present and why having a terminal illness is not as romantic as you'd think. In fact, a terminal illness is kind of boring, time consuming, repetitive and emotionally draining.
On February 22nd 2022, I had my left eye surgically removed due to ocular melanoma, a rare eye cancer that affects about 2500 people a year in the USA. This video documents my recovery and healing after enucleation.
Because of the large size of the tumor (16mm wide by 7mm deep), the closeness to my center of vision and my retina detachment due to fluid leaking from the tumor, I was a poor candidate for brachytherapy ( radiation plaque). Radiation damage would had left me functionally blind in that eye along with probable cataracts and glaucoma.
Once I knew I was removing my eye (enucleation) I bought an eye patch to practice one-eyed living. I quickly discovered that I had full depth of perception with only one eye.
I bought a pair of swim goggles and blackened out the left frame. Then I waited for the sun to go down. I I caught my first wave easily and surfed like I had two eyes.
I knew then that everything was going to be fine. One eyed living would be grand.
But losing the eye is the easy part. The hard part is the lifelong risk of metaization in the liver and lungs. That's what makes this cancer so deadly. It likes to spread in the blood and is particularly fond of taking up residency in the liver.
There are no cures at the moment. So getting metastization is a game of whack-a mole where you keep treating the lesions while they keep trying to come back.
You can visit my Facebook page to follow my journey and see my awesome photos of sunsets, sunrises, moons and astral.
original.clay.butler/
For more information about ocular melanoma visit:
ACureInSight
acureinsight.org/
Prosthetic Eye by the Magic Hands of Steven Young
www.stevenryoungocularist.com/
My Ocular Oncologist who skilfully removed my eye
stanfordhealthcare.org/doctors/m/prithvi-mruthyunjaya.html
Переглядів: 13 131

Відео

SCANXIETY - Tips on How to Control Cancer Screening Fear and Anxiety - Dealing with Cancer Fear
Переглядів 427Рік тому
Scanxiety is real. Every new CT or MRI scan can bring news of cancer spread or metastasis. I offer tips and techniques to handle and cope with cancer screening fears so cancer doesn't control your life. Learn to control your anxiety around cancer testing and screening. 00:00 - Intro 01:12 - My Ocular Melanoma Diagnosis 01:42 - Tumor Biopsy, Testing and Genetic Results 02:50 - 5 Year Metastizati...
How to Talk to Someone with Cancer - The 9 Do's and Don'ts - What Not To Say To Someone With Cancer
Переглядів 755Рік тому
So a friend or family member just got diagnosed with cancer but you don't know what to say. This is normal. The best thing you can do to be supportive, is to be real. Forget the platitudes and generic comfort phrases and advice. Don't sugar coat. Don't try to "fix" it. Chapters 00:00 - Intro 00:42 - My Ocular Melanoma Diagnosis. Enucleation, Lifetime Risk of Metastization 02:53 - #1 Don't Minim...
Conformer vs Prosthetic Eye - My Eye Conformer Reveal - Showing You My Conformer
Переглядів 5 тис.Рік тому
When I'm not wearing my prosthetic eye, I'm wearing my conformer. It's a thin, teaspoon shaped piece of plastic that protects my eye socket and maintains the shape of my eyelids so they don't shrink. On February 22nd 2022, I had my left eye surgically removed due to ocular melanoma, a rare eye cancer that affects about 2500 people a year in the USA. This video documents my recovery and healing ...
I Lost My Eye, But It Feels Like I Have Two Eyes - The Wacky World of Seeing with Only One Eye
Переглядів 3,2 тис.Рік тому
What do you "see" with your missing eye? What is it like to see with only one eye? The answers are actually quite complicated and involve image processing in your visual cortex, the structural limits of peripheral vision, the perception versus reality when you brain has to use only one eye to make sense of the world and phantom eye syndrome. Chapters: 00:00 - Intro 00:33 - Ocular Melanoma and E...
Can I See With My Prosthetic Eye? - Does My Fake Eye Have X-Ray Vision? Do I Have a Bionic Eye?
Переглядів 1,3 тис.Рік тому
Does my prosthetic eye have x-ray vision? Can I see in the infrared spectrum? Is my artificial eye a bionic eye? Um, nope. It's just a decorative piece of acrylic. Like a giant contact that is opaque. Fake eyes are cool, but they cannot "see" anything. But they ARE very expensive. On February 22nd 2022, I had my left eye surgically removed due to ocular melanoma, a rare eye cancer that affects ...
Fun With My Prosthetic Eye - Why I Don't Play Jokes With My Fake Eye
Переглядів 433Рік тому
Prosthetic eyes are expensive! Would you take chances with a $4000 fake eye? Of course not! That's why I don't play joke or do pranks with my prosthetic eye. On February 22nd 2022, I had my left eye surgically removed due to ocular melanoma, a rare eye cancer that affects about 2500 people a year in the USA. This video documents my recovery and healing after enucleation. Because of the large si...
Playing the Cancer Card - How to Shamelessly Use Your Cancer Diagnosis to Get What You Need to Live
Переглядів 1,6 тис.Рік тому
Cancer is the world's best excuse for everything you don't want to do. The Cancer Card is a "get out of jail free" card. You play it to get out of obligations and commitments without shame or detailed explanations. "Sorry, I can't...I have cancer" is an answer that cannot be challenged. It would be rude and unethical to do so. This is because society gives you this Cancer Card and expects you t...
I Lost My Eye to Cancer - Peripheral Vision Loss After Losing My Eye - Test Your Peripheral Vision
Переглядів 1,1 тис.Рік тому
Losing your eye means a loss in peripheral vision, but not as much as you think. And how much peripheral vision you keep after you lose an eye, depends on how deep set your eyes are and how big your nose is! The shape of you face determines your range of peripheral vision. On February 22nd 2022, I had my left eye surgically removed due to ocular melanoma, a rare eye cancer that affects about 25...
7 Tips - How to Cope with Your Cancer Diagnosis - Advice for Dealing with Your Cancer Diagnosis
Переглядів 773Рік тому
So, you've just received your first cancer diagnosis. It probably came as a shock. But what do you do now? I offer 7 Tips to deal with your cancer diagnosis in the early stages. This is when you are destabilized, emotionally volatile and just trying to understand your disease and your options. 00:00 - How I Lost My Left Eye to Cancer 02:21 - Don't Google your cancer. Not just yet. Wait a month ...
MY DOMINANT EYE IS GONE! - What is a Dominant Eye - Dominant Eye Test - I Lost My Dominant Eye
Переглядів 8102 роки тому
I lost my dominant eye to cancer. Called ocular melanoma, this rare cancer caused a big tumor in my left eye, the same eye I used for photography, looking through peephole, a microscope, and a magnifying glass. The eye wasn't worth saving so I opted for enucleation. It took some adjustment but I do miss it sometimes because my visual cortex is mapped to favor that eye. So even though I have no ...
PHANTOM EYE SYNDROME IS REAL! - I Lost My Eye to Ocular Melanoma and Now See Visual Hallucinations
Переглядів 1,8 тис.2 роки тому
POST ENUCLEATION VISUAL DISTURBANCES HAUNT MY WORLD! Also called Charles Bonnet Syndrome when the hallucinations are very specific and realistic, phantom eye syndrome affects about 50% of the people who get their eye removed, develop blindness and lose their vision due to an accident. Most see geometric kaleidoscope patterns that overlay their regular vision. They are often described as have a ...
How I Lost My Eye - My Ocular Melanoma Story - Enucleation to Prosthetic Eye Time-lapse Healing
Переглядів 4,5 тис.2 роки тому
How I Lost My Eye - My Ocular Melanoma Story - Enucleation to Prosthetic Eye Time-lapse Healing
MRI Skull Scan Animation & CT Torso Scan Animation
Переглядів 4252 роки тому
MRI Skull Scan Animation & CT Torso Scan Animation
Clay Butler Interview - A Terrible Plan for a Wonderful Career
Переглядів 3174 роки тому
Clay Butler Interview - A Terrible Plan for a Wonderful Career
Jennifer Butler Rube Goldberg Device for Dean Cutter's Class
Переглядів 7528 років тому
Jennifer Butler Rube Goldberg Device for Dean Cutter's Class
Toenail Injury Time-Lapse Regrowth
Переглядів 499 тис.8 років тому
Toenail Injury Time-Lapse Regrowth
Advanced Inking and Coloring Tutorial for Adobe Illustrator
Переглядів 25 тис.10 років тому
Advanced Inking and Coloring Tutorial for Adobe Illustrator
Illustrator Tips and Tricks - Deconstructing a Vector Illustration
Переглядів 13 тис.10 років тому
Illustrator Tips and Tricks - Deconstructing a Vector Illustration
Creating Custom Brushes in Illustrator The Fast and Easy Way
Переглядів 27 тис.10 років тому
Creating Custom Brushes in Illustrator The Fast and Easy Way
How To Draw Hot Rod Flames in Adobe Illustrator the Quick and Easy Way
Переглядів 22 тис.11 років тому
How To Draw Hot Rod Flames in Adobe Illustrator the Quick and Easy Way
Studio Designs Futura Glass Tower Drafting Table Review
Переглядів 37 тис.11 років тому
Studio Designs Futura Glass Tower Drafting Table Review
Easy and Awesome Text and Bevel Effects for Adobe Illustrator CS6 and Below
Переглядів 77 тис.11 років тому
Easy and Awesome Text and Bevel Effects for Adobe Illustrator CS6 and Below
Joy Formidable San Francisco - The Magnifying Glass + Llaw=Wall 3-12-12
Переглядів 1,9 тис.12 років тому
Joy Formidable San Francisco - The Magnifying Glass Llaw=Wall 3-12-12
Joy Formidable San Francisco - Endtapes 3-12-12
Переглядів 76512 років тому
Joy Formidable San Francisco - Endtapes 3-12-12
Joy Formidable San Francisco - Buoy - The Independent 3-12-12
Переглядів 30912 років тому
Joy Formidable San Francisco - Buoy - The Independent 3-12-12
Joy Formidable San Francisco - I Don't Want to See You Like This + Cradle 3-12-12
Переглядів 17912 років тому
Joy Formidable San Francisco - I Don't Want to See You Like This Cradle 3-12-12
Joy Formidable San Francisco - The Ever Changing Spectrum of a Lie 3-12-12
Переглядів 36112 років тому
Joy Formidable San Francisco - The Ever Changing Spectrum of a Lie 3-12-12
Ultimate Inking and Coloring Tutorial for Adobe Illustrator (short version)
Переглядів 1,4 млн12 років тому
Ultimate Inking and Coloring Tutorial for Adobe Illustrator (short version)
Ultimate Inking and Coloring Tutorial for Adobe Illustrator CS5 (long version)
Переглядів 546 тис.12 років тому
Ultimate Inking and Coloring Tutorial for Adobe Illustrator CS5 (long version)

КОМЕНТАРІ

  • @AnnWright-jb2dw
    @AnnWright-jb2dw 8 днів тому

    Very interesting. Whoever made the prosthetic eye did an incredible job. I also couldn't tell which eye it was. 👍🏻

  • @captchabot2
    @captchabot2 14 днів тому

    i lost my big toe (nail) because a softball hit it and it just curved up and died, I wonder how long it'll take to grow back 😢

  • @Jkaysall
    @Jkaysall 17 днів тому

    Just happened to my big toe while surfing in Mexico. Hoping it heals fast

  • @tracydean3678
    @tracydean3678 22 дні тому

    Hi, I had my left eye removed in Jan. 2023 so a year and a half ago. I've been having a problem with the prosthetic or maybe its my eye socket atrophying. I cannot get it back in and gave up 2 weeks ago. I wonder if you or anyone reading this has experienced this? It feels much better without it though so I can relate. I've lost my old confirmed need to get one. Went through 15 years of problems after a messed up cataract operation! Very painful blind eye.

  • @karistanley6624
    @karistanley6624 Місяць тому

    I lost my toe nail last night 2:59

  • @richomuhammadhafsah9028
    @richomuhammadhafsah9028 Місяць тому

    How it can look simple to do?😂

  • @mutant_King.7
    @mutant_King.7 Місяць тому

    Hi brother i was new to this channel 2 days back my big toe nail was removed by the doctor it's been 48 hours ny now They said protect it from wetness like water how many days should i do that I mean not to wet it

  • @MakuwaThabelo
    @MakuwaThabelo Місяць тому

    Send me phone number l need thid eyes

  • @sameoldsonganddance
    @sameoldsonganddance 3 місяці тому

    Your prosthetic eye looks fantastic. As I was looking at you I couldn’t tell which eye it was honestly.

  • @simoneb4177
    @simoneb4177 3 місяці тому

    My friend just had his eye removed due to eye cancer. He's been very stressed about what a prosthetic eye looks like, how to take care of it, and how to place it it, etc., this video somewhat calmed him. Thank you!

  • @user-jl5iu4vp9q
    @user-jl5iu4vp9q 3 місяці тому

    When the pain stop i’m having so much pain

  • @winniboo
    @winniboo 3 місяці тому

    This honestly makes me feel so good I’m damaged my nail about a month ago and I was worried because it was my big toe so I’m hoping by august I should at least have a lil nub 🤞🏽

  • @cdeprima1209
    @cdeprima1209 4 місяці тому

    Bogus, the body is a self healing machine, must respect your life form duh! :)

  • @barleychaser1
    @barleychaser1 4 місяці тому

    I just found Clay and not sad to see that has passed ...i too have the same ocular melanoma ...

  • @gemmapurbaya9015
    @gemmapurbaya9015 4 місяці тому

    Wow thank you for the video, mine was removed today because of a motorbike accident that i had today. I was really worried about it, like would it grow back etc or how will it heal? Your video somehow soothes me :) thank you for sharing your journey.

  • @Jomanka100
    @Jomanka100 4 місяці тому

    Thank you. My husband was diagnosed with the same six days ago. Enucleation will take place in the next couple of weeks. I'm devastated for him, and everything is just so sad, and scary at the moment. I was diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago, so cancer isn't a stranger to us. Your video has given me hope that he can adjust, and come to terms with his eye-loss [which is a big deal], and that he can still live a fulfilling life. You're an inspiration, and I hope everything is still going well for you.

  • @exil3dlivecom
    @exil3dlivecom 4 місяці тому

    Yep. 100% agreed and correct.

  • @sylviagreenberg3005
    @sylviagreenberg3005 4 місяці тому

    This is a helpful video. Thanks for sharing

  • @pattkutscher9659
    @pattkutscher9659 4 місяці тому

    Miss you Clay ❤ 💜🌊🌹

  • @radnukespeoplesminds
    @radnukespeoplesminds 4 місяці тому

    I have a brain tumor that puts me in a similar situation

  • @TweSunshine
    @TweSunshine 4 місяці тому

    Mine broke half way and I don't even know how it happened.

  • @nanananatalied
    @nanananatalied 4 місяці тому

    I watched this because mine it hanging by one piece of skin by the tip. It's bloody and somewhere between your two injured toes. I'm pretty sure it's going to fall off. It hurts with any movement. I hope mine grows back. Hearing about the shoe thing is problematic. I'm in Maine, and it's snowing.

  • @skygazer6898
    @skygazer6898 5 місяців тому

    Despite having this dreadful disease, Clay kept his great sense of humour. I am sorry to read he passed away two year ago

  • @zimarron40
    @zimarron40 5 місяців тому

    Thanks for your video, encourage me to have it remove

  • @joeypilgrim1269
    @joeypilgrim1269 5 місяців тому

    Wow bs

  • @AndreaJen
    @AndreaJen 5 місяців тому

    Thank you Clay for sharing your syntoms... It's very informative for my research for a comic project I'm working!

  • @knicholsch
    @knicholsch 5 місяців тому

    I fell tipsy of toes first down stairs and my whole toe nail on the same toe came off. A clean break. No pain. It was so weird. Anyway… it’s been almost 14 weeks now and I haven’t even seen a piece of a toe nail yet. 😭😭😭😭

  • @DJ-bj8ku
    @DJ-bj8ku 6 місяців тому

    If he were still with us, my answer to his questions would be to stop treatment, max out your credit cards and take a European vacation because trying to eke out another month or two of life isn’t worth the effort.

  • @roselane8152
    @roselane8152 6 місяців тому

    I feel so uncomfortable with injuries on nails, it makes me wince at the photos and stuff. Unfortunately, I got injured exploring a stream of a river with a crazy uncle of mine, he even pushed down his thumb on my torn toenail as if it was going to glue back, some folks are not right in the head. The accident tho was totally my fault as I followed him, and I am very clumsy, we were surrounded by tree branches and roots, eventually I hit some root and I felt like there were a splinter under my toenail, when I saw the damage I was very angry at myself for ignoring my senses for not turning back earlier. Now I'm stuck with half of a toenail of my big toe for about 3 weeks.

  • @hawaiipommom.1306
    @hawaiipommom.1306 6 місяців тому

    Rest in Peace, Love and Aloha, Clay!

  • @user-wy9xc6mi6q
    @user-wy9xc6mi6q 6 місяців тому

    Some need to address, or check themselves, how empty or how to fulfill complete oneness

  • @bubbyraiden463
    @bubbyraiden463 6 місяців тому

    what's the name of the music

  • @Twangabilly
    @Twangabilly 6 місяців тому

    Is the background song called Nose of the Lion?

  • @savanahward1806
    @savanahward1806 6 місяців тому

    Hi Clay. I just had my left eyeball removed Nov. 27th 2023. Waiting on my prosthetic (should be early February). Learning to live life with the conformer and everything else that comes along with having 1 eye has been much tougher than I anticipated. I love your videos, your positivity and all your knowledge. My conformer fell out and all other videos had me in a panic, but watching yours I was able to place it back in. Thank you!❤

  • @Fullmoonrisingtarot
    @Fullmoonrisingtarot 6 місяців тому

    does the Prothesis hurt at all to wear? I had enucleation surgery 2 weeks ago. . Did you have trouble with the conformer falling out?

  • @user-sl9uz8ut6z
    @user-sl9uz8ut6z 7 місяців тому

    CK OUT JOE TIPPENS CANCER PROTOCOL FENBENDAZOLE RIGHT AWAY, FENBENDAZOLE KILLS CANCER CELLS. JESUS LOVES YOU

  • @amiraabduh2493
    @amiraabduh2493 7 місяців тому

    My toe nail ca remove due to a pass trauma it had. Im about 23 days I was getting worried so I came here and saw this…my anxiety has reduced.

  • @Public.videos.Adda05
    @Public.videos.Adda05 7 місяців тому

    Sir How to purchase this product

  • @user-xh8es7yo8h
    @user-xh8es7yo8h 7 місяців тому

    Sir could you drive a car with this

  • @jezzamatic
    @jezzamatic 7 місяців тому

    Hi, thank you for this video as I'm due to have my left eye removed for the same reason as you. I'm not bothered about having a prosthetic but I will like you use the conformer mostly.

  • @nata.lie24
    @nata.lie24 7 місяців тому

    This happened to me the other day. 80 days is not too bad. I thought this would take 6-12 months.

  • @arnsnicklefritz9634
    @arnsnicklefritz9634 7 місяців тому

    Saint Charbyl healed 29,000 terminally ill people

  • @xandervanwyk2690
    @xandervanwyk2690 7 місяців тому

    He looks like hallyday from ready player1

  • @ScaryToown
    @ScaryToown 7 місяців тому

    after expand it doent work.. its delete all the sketch🥵👺👺👺👺

  • @mEE1434eva
    @mEE1434eva 7 місяців тому

    Life...finds a way. I had to play 32 to 33 again bc it deflated?

  •  7 місяців тому

    . I can remove and replace my eye with just one hand. Years of practice has taught me this.👍

  • @drewreynolds1649
    @drewreynolds1649 7 місяців тому

    Yuck 🤮

  • @destinyedwards9828
    @destinyedwards9828 7 місяців тому

    Ok seeing the muscles move where your eye is missing is actually really cool. I genuinely didn’t know that was possible. The human body is made up in such an interesting way.

  • @TheeManuelpower007
    @TheeManuelpower007 8 місяців тому

    RIP you always be missed.

  • @michaelrosenow4393
    @michaelrosenow4393 8 місяців тому

    👍